Jaxon's Birth Story — SLICE OF LAUREN

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been writing down notes in my phone about what I wanted to say, what I wanted to remember, about the day Jaxon came into this world. His due date was originally May 4th but when I went into my 36-week appointment my midwife was concerned I was measuring a little small. She sent me to get an ultrasound for a growth scan and it turned out our guy, too, was measuring small. In the 9th percentile to be exact, which really is not what you want to hear as a first-time mom. Luckily, this was the first appointment that Jeremy was allowed to be there for, and thank goodness because I was a mess at the news that things didn’t look exactly how they should. Long story short, because he was small we ended up going back the next two weeks for BPP testing, and thankfully our little man passed with flying colors every time.

Fast forward to my 38-week appointment with my midwife. I went in on a Monday, which was actually the day before I hit 38 weeks, and as soon as she came into the room she told me that she was glad we decided to do the growth scan and that typically they recommend inducing between 38 - 39 weeks when the baby is measuring small. My response, “LOL so like I’m gonna have a baby this week?” Turns out the answer was YES THIS WEEK…..as in 3 days!! She did go ahead and check me and was happy to see I was measuring at 1 cm and my uterus was soft - which was a good sign! When I got home and pulled up the driveway, Jeremy came out the door to check on me and asked how it went. “Are you ready to have a baby on Thursday?” LOL HERE WE GO

After 2 days of getting all our last-minute stuff done, we woke up on Wednesday morning at 6 am feeling fully rested. It felt like a good sign. We decided to go for a walk and get bagels, one last morning with just the two of us. The day was spent resting and packing, followed by picking my mom up at the airport, eating hamburgers, and making our way to the hospital.

They induced me that night at 7:30 pm and overall it was a fairly smooth process. I had actually started having small contractions while waiting for my mom at the airport and once they gave me the medicine to move me in the direction of active labor, my body responded just as they hoped it would. I woke up on Thursday morning measuring at 3 cm and they started the Pitocin. About three hours later they broke my water and the contractions got more and more intense (yes, the picture below is during a real contraction LOL thanks, Jeremy.) A few hours later I got the epidural (IT WAS WITCHCRAFT YALL WOW WOW) and immediately took an hour and a half nap, which I desperately needed. At 2:45 they came back in and measured me at 6 cm. At that point, my mom looked at me and told me whenever she and my sister got to 7 cm things moved very, very quickly.

As the midwife left she told me that she would come back and check on me in 4 hours if nothing major happened, but to make sure and call the nurse if I felt any pressure near my butt (LOL.) Less than an hour later I told Jeremy and my mom I was feeling the pressure and we called the nurse. She walked in, took a look, and said “Ooohh, yep, I’m gonna call the midwife and you’re gonna have your baby this afternoon. DON’T PUSH.”

Once the Midwife was in the room and had everything ready to roll, she told Jeremy to grab a leg and asked if I wanted a mirror to see while pushing. I always thought I would pass on this, but in the moment I said yes and I’m so glad I did. It was SO helpful to know where to focus my pushing and was pretty incredible to watch my baby come into this world. After about 30 minutes of pushing, Jaxon James Pawlowski was born at 4:04 pm at 5 lb 13 oz. As soon as he was out and in my arms, I broke down in tears. Seeing him yelling and crying and knowing that he was okay was the most overwhelming thing I have ever experienced. The midwife immediately told us that he was bigger than she thought he was going to be and that, after all the stress and tears, he truly must have just been a small baby - what a huge relief! With my mom and Jeremy in the room, they gave us time to admire our new lil guy and enjoy some skin-to-skin time. It was beautiful and hard and like nothing I have ever experienced in my entire life.

Here are a few things I wish I would have known:

When they induce you, they hook you up to monitors to keep tabs on the baby's heart rate and your contractions. It was really soothing to me to hear the baby's heart rate and cool to see my contractions coming through, but it was a PAIN because the heart rate monitor kept shifting and would cause the monitor to lose his heart rate. Between the nurse having to come in to fix that and take my vitals I really didn’t sleep much at all on Wednesday night.
While I was pretty sure I wanted an epidural, I was really concerned I wouldn’t know when to get it. I wanted to make it as long as I could without one but also didn’t want to wait TOO long and it be too late. Believe me when I tell you, if an epidural is the way you choose to go, YOU WILL KNOW when it’s time. I got to the point where I could no longer talk or breathe through the contractions and by the time they gave it to me I had involuntary tears streaming down my face. And let me tell you IT IS MAGIC the way it works. Like, I told the anesthesiologist she was my new best friend after she gave me the goods LOLOL.
I’ve never had an IV before and it HURT. I wish someone would have warned me how uncomfortable it is!
No one told me that during active labor sometimes you can feel like you have the flu. I ended up asking for a puke bag while I was pushing because I thought I was going to throw up.
After you give birth and are breastfeeding your body releases a hormone called oxytocin. This hormone causes the contraction of your muscles and helps your uterus contract back into its pre-pregnancy shape and size (isn’t the body insane!!) I was prepared for this, but DANG they sure aren’t comfortable. I found using a heating pad was very helpful with managing these, specifically these menstrual cramp heat wraps.
Have you heard of a uterus massage? LOL WELL let me warn you it is not the peaceful kind of massage you dream of. It is essentially a “massage” of the lower abdomen that the nurses give you after delivery to stimulate the uterus contractions. They are not enjoyable. You have been warned.
I couldn’t pee afterward. It was so weird and stressful because they really need you to. From what I was told, our bladder and uterus compete for space and our uterus needs the space to contract (see above.) If this happens to you, don’t panic! Your body just needs some time to realign, especially after an epidural. If they try to give you a catheter do everything you can to avoid this.
There are like 18 people in the hospital that will come in and out of your room and tell you what you need to do for your baby. Most of which will contradict each other. It really messed with me and I wish I would have known to take everything they tell you with a grain of salt, specifically about breastfeeding and pumping. You, mama, truly do know what is best for your baby — listen to your gut!
To put it bluntly, my lady parts HURT after delivery and once I got home. I tore a little bit in a few places and had a couple of stitches. I was in a lot of pain for about a week. The Frida Postpartum Kit is expensive but worth it. The peri bottle is way better than the one they gave me at the hospital and I would 100% recommend it/taking it with you. Also, you can make ice packs out of diapers and crushed ice - just trust me and Google how to do this.
When your milk comes in make sure and monitor your boobs, their size, and the giant hard lumps that are bound to happen. You will want to massage the heck out of these hard spots. Specifically *while* you are breastfeeding. Massage down towards the baby’s suck to help your ducts not get clogged. TRUST ME WHEN I SAY the last thing you want is mastitis - it is so brutal. Also jumping in the shower (LOL WHAT IS A SHOWER) and massaging them with hot water is a good way to keep the milk moving.
In the days post-birth I cried a lot. Hormones are so weird. Breastfeeding and getting a good latch is hard, maybe more so for us than a normal baby because he was so small. They throw a lot at you in the hospital and it can get really overwhelming but you gotta know you’re okay and just let it out. It got worse for me when my milk came in and, if I’m being completely honest, I just cried and cried for what felt like no reason. The important thing is it didn’t last forever. The reality is it’s a lot to go through physically, mentally, and emotionally, so give yourself some grace, prep your partner, have some IBUprofen on hand, and sleep when you can.

WHEW! After all of that, our little guy is here and healthy and safe - praise the danged ol Lord!! In her book, Britta Bushnell says, “Birth, while transcendent, otherworldly, spiritual, and profound, is actually intense hard work that tests our ideas of what ‘spiritual’ looks like and means. Birth exposes the sacred through the muck, mud, and hardship of something so profoundly animalistic that it makes us into something entirely new. This otherworldly place where great transformation happens is the sacred space of birth.” It is otherworldly, it is sacred, to bring a child into this world. I know we are just getting started, but so far it has been good and hard and I can’t even begin to imagine what parenthood will bring Jeremy and me. I feel lucky to have experienced childbirth in what felt like the best ways possible and I feel honored to be Jaxons mom.

xx,